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• *Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
• *Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
• *Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
• *A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
• *Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
• *Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer

• operator: 911, please hold.
• me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
• murderer: ok